A-Z Of Me!

I Need A Break From My Deep-Heart Felt Moments I Post On Here!

Age: 15 (19th April)

Bed size: Single!

Chore you hate: Most: Washing up! touching other peoples eaten food is disgusting! also   dusting because it makes me sneeze a lot

Dogs: I had a labrabor named Woody, that was years ago!

Essentials to start your day: Will Power, and the feeling that today will be a good day, after finding the strengh to wake up the rest of the morning is a piece of cake compared.

Favourite colour: Light Blue!  

Gold or silver: Gold!

Height: I'm tall! i think i'm nearly 6 foot but i haven't measured for a while

Instruments I can play: I can play Rhythm is a Dancer on Keyboard ;) i also played the Saxaphone until i threw up at one of my lessons... never showing my face again!

Job title: Student!

Kids: None yet, I don't know how many or which gender i would prefer yet

Live: West Yorkshire

Mums name: Samantha, but we call her Sam

Nicknames: Anything containing a mean girl quote,

Pet peeves: Bone cracking, XOXOXO talk , People who think they are better than others

Quote from a movie: "Don't Dream It... Be It"

Right or left: Left

Siblings: (7 Brothers) Ziggy, Finley, Jorge, Marley, Chris, Ben, Gavin and One sister Amy, thank god we don't all live together!

Time you wake up: Alarm set for 7:00am wake up usually 7:20! 

Underwear: Yes?

Vegetables you dislike: Leeks, Tomato 

What makes you run late: Lazyness

X-rays you've had done: None

Yummy food you can make: I can't bake... but i make a mean cake! you know the ones in packets with the cake mix included!

Zoo animals: Penguins, Anything CUTE! not monkeys they really annoy me -.-

 

Joe ;D x

Horizons

I've done a lot of thinking lately, of as always i need to 'blog' it out, and of course from my other blogs there is this guy that has been a really big part of my life for a year now, i mean 80% of my thoughts have been him, a mention of his name gives a warm and comforting shiver down my spine, whenever i think of him, it can just lighten me up, when i see him i just get butterflies instantly, him borrowing my calculator was the highlight of my day, he even stand up to his friends if they say anything to me, you don't get many of those guys around...he just means so much to me.. I don't even go out with him! he has a girlfriend so what am i doing to myself??

This is what i've had to think about recently, i mean a year loving someone who isn't yours? that isn't a healthy to do, i've tried to move on in the past but the pain of trying to do it was so unbearable, like how could i just stop loving this guy i look up to and have a lot of respect for! but... realistically i know we will never be together, he isn't gay, he loves his girlfriend, and i have been a bitch to her and it isn't fair for me to be like that, i'm sure she is a very nice person,, heh she must be if she has him and i don't ;) ...

What is there for me on the horizon?? it hurts so much having to go through this, i mean i have pretty much moved on from the guy that meant everything to me for a whole year.. i think i'm going to leave the boy book on the shelf and focus on things like my studies, they seem like the most important thing right now, i will just have to adapt to not having those feelings there :( of course i will have a special place still in my heart for him, i can't just forget those feelings, i gained a friendship out of this and that is so much more than what i expected.. sure it didn't go the way i hoped... but does anything?

Petition! Stop The "Kill The Gays" Ugandan Act!

http://www.avaaz.org/en/uganda_stop_homophobia_petition_2/?copy

Please take 10 seconds out of your time to help save hundreds of gay Ugandans from recieveing the death penalty just for expressing who they are, it's sickening that even in this day and age us gays still face this kind of discrimination. It would mean a lot to me if you did this <3

NO H8 <3

With 1000 Sweet Kisses, I'll Cover You

urrgh, i always come on here to spill out my feelings, blogging just seems to me such a deep thing almost an escape from the real world where you can just empty yourself of the feelings that eat you alive, it's been a big help for me defiantly. Pretty much all of my blogs have been heart felt where i just go for it, i have a LOT on my plate and i need this to help me go on! Of course blogging isn't all i have, i have the most amazing people in my life! like seriously if you met them you would be jealous.


Unfortunately for you this is another of the blogs where i babble on about how things are going wrong in my life, but everyone has this, i feel like i have the whole world on my shoulders and that i have a lot to deal with, but i know there are others that are totally worse off than me! i can't imagine what it's like for them because i can pretty much only just get through my own problems!


A Recurring theme in my blogs are men, well one man in particular and i have said at least 1000 times before, he is amazing! and we haven't spoken for like 3 weeks but the other day i went through his maths paper with him and honestly that made my day, probably even my week, even walking down the corridor to be in the same lesson with him gives me butterflies, when he smiles at me it's so hard not to just burst out into a little school girl giggle, i remember one time i was handing out glue and i gave some to him and i went bright red and he laughed :') times like that just put a massive smile on my face! <3

I know it isn't healthy to love a guy who realistically (as much as i hate to say it) i will probably will not go out with, and i tell myself... NO we will!! and some may call me stupid but no i have to disagree hope is a very dangerous thing to lose as someone once said  "We can live a week without food, days without water but only a minute without hope" i can only dream how amazing my life would be if i shared it with him. I've has millions of these visions of us being together and it sucks the reality of the situation, i must live in this dream world!


I don't know where to go from this, i love him too much to move on and i know i should, i know but i can't, I've tried but it isn't happening at the moment, but i am happy with this, before i was really depressed that i wasn't strong enough to move on but now my attitude is to enjoy the experience of being in love even though it gets really hard at times, before i was sitting through looking at all the posts him and his girlfriend have sent to each other, and i knew, i was telling myself not to because i would get upset but i did it anyway, and it hurt but... there is nothing i can do I'm just gonna go as i am and see if anything comes out of this, i really hope it does it would make my life if it did but we will see,


if we do end up together, then with a 1000 sweet kisses, I'll cover him :P

Born This Way

First of all, i LOVE this song and i love Lady Gaga she is just an inspiration with all the charity work does and just her as a person! I really like all her songs and she is just one of my favourite artists! <3

Now back to the song, the lyrics are just so inspiring and true, no matter what you are you are a superstar and i wish more people would be proud of what they are and not hide in the background, i used to be like that and i MUCH prefer strutting ma stuff ;D and being the fabulous gay i am, when before i was too scared to cross my legs! "There’s nothing wrong with loving who you are, cause he made you perfect babe <3"

It's true you were Born This Way and instead of being ashamed of it, EMBRACE IT! :D
"Don't be drag, just be a queen
whether you're broke or evergreen
you’re black, white, beige, chola descent
you’re Lebanese, you're orient

whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today"

That is just so true, like that’s what you need to just Rejoice and love yourself, people seem to hate the fact people love themselves and honestly i think I’m an amazing person, i don’t think there is anything wrong with loving yourself! Everyone should do that! Like just be proud of who you are, it doesn’t make you a bad person to love yourself!

"No matter gay, straight or bi
Lesbian, transgendered life
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to survive"
Of course this bit needs to go here ;) we should all be equal no matter who you are attracted to, we can't help it because we were "Born This Way" i am personally proud of myself for coming this far with myself because now i am so proud of who i am and i just love living! I haven't been happier, believe me once you embrace and rejoice in who you are life becomes a whole lot better, and just forget the haters! Let them hate and be insecure! because of course it is better to be hated for what you are than loved, loved, loved for what you're not! <3